Response Comparison Contrast paper

This assignment assessed several things including:

1. thesis and/or thesis statement construction
2. research and citations
3. organization and rhetorical construction and success of argument.
4. all the mechanical and format concerns addressed on previous papers.
   

Several students have noted that the thing they liked most about this assignment is the range and freedom they have to explore their interests. Oddly, but perhaps predictably, that revealed the greatest common challenge we face - the crafting of workable thesis statements.

We need to do a workshop on the difference between a thesis and a topic. I've started a page collecting links to resources for the explanation of what a thesis statement is and tips on how to create one. Several links have online "thesis statement generators" which might be fun.

below are some thoughts and responses to what I've read this week.

Research
I'm a skeptic. I also come from a different background. You may live in a world where men are dominant and incapable of nurture, and women are never found driving cabs, working construction or in positions of leadership, but I've lived in places - both here and abroad - where these things can't be taken for granted.

Beware of unsubstantiated claims like, "some say," "research shows" and "people think." They need to be backed up with some kind of documentation. Without knowing who "they" are, these comments throw up red flags. What informs your opinion could be personal experience, a book or article you read, T.V. program, a video or other media available through ANGEL or class wiki, or whatever - but the reader needs to know where claims come from.

Even if you believe something to be true - imagine your audience. How well do you know them? Would they believe the same?

Several claims reminded me of a report I read that claimed second-hand smoke wasn't dangerous. When I looked up the original research it came from the National Tobacco Foundation or similar such agency. The research wasn't rigorous and it was biased. You can learn much by looking at people's research sources.

Wikipedia is more of an example of a research essay (a tertiary research soure) and not what college professors generally consider to be primary or secondary research source. I've long had a love -hate relationship with wikipedia - see previous post. But with wikipedia - it is their sources that are of more use. Check out their sources and draw your own conclusions.

And even if Wikipedia falls under "common knowledge" and therefor deemed unnecessary to cite - you must put anything you quote in quotation marks and provide documentation info on your works cited page. YOU CAN'T CUT and PASTE FROM ANYWHERE on the web without giving credit to your source - and believe me - people can tell.

Quoting sources
A general rule of thumb is that if 5 words or more in a row in your paper are found in your text you must put quotes around it - or if it is over 4 lines long set it off with a block quote. See quoting sources for details.

Anything cited, referred to, or quoted in your text must have documentation info on the works cited page. If not quotes or documentation exists and your reader finds the phrase word-for-word somewhere (and it's easy to catch - if you've taught a subject for a while and/or know how to use Turnitin.com)

Works Cited page
I advocate (and requested for this paper) a "Works Consulted" page rather than a "Works Cited" page per se, reasoning that any work that informed your opinion in researching this assignment should be referenced. I'm encouraging you to err on the side of caution. It's better to have a source on your works cited page that isn't referenced than not have a source that is used.

On the works page - each source should be formatted with a hanging indent. It's visually obvious when that isn't done. It screams "I didn't make the slightest effort to use any acceptable format for citations. I spit on MLA, APA, Chicago and Turabian." For instructions how to do this click here.

Coherence
Sleep deprivation (aka all-nighters), drugs and/or alcohol may seem like a source of inspiration - but the results are not coherent. Reread your drafts and make sure they make sense in the cold, sober, light of day.

Sources
In class, our sources have been decidedly feminist - you may be interested in:

• Cathy Young - proponent of equity feminism. Born in the USSR, but fluent in English as anyone, she's brilliant and not embraced by either feminists or masculists
• identity politics - I just learned of the term from my dialogue with you all over this paper. I haven't decided what to make of it or how (or if) to apply the lesson to my class
  
• wikipedia page on income disparity (thanks P)
• Warren Farrell - only man elected to the National Organization for Women's board of directors 3 times. He's now an icon of Men's Studies.
  

Questions from my reading of your papers

1. What is the relationship between care or nurture and dominance? Are they mutually exclusive?
2. Can one provide for another without it affecting power in the relationship?
3. Is gender disparity in any profession ever a good thing?
   

Story of an Hour

Just before break we read/and or listed to audio of "story of an hour" by Kate Chopin. It's part of an interactive online activity available through ANGEL. I like the story because:

1. it's really short
2. it has a wicked ironic ending - it surprised me.
3. it opens up discussions of women's issues.

Here are discussion questions. I also found a text where you can read the story and clicking on highlighted portions of text reveals some insightful questions - many of which would make a good thesis for a paper. I also recommend checking out the official international Kate Chopin web page.

Librivox, a free public domain digital library of audio books, has audio of this story - so you can listen to it while you read, or download it and listen at your convenience.

If you enjoyed the story, check out "Desiree's Baby". It has that same wicked twist and throws race into the mix.

SP 2010 students ask

1. is this a pro-woman (feminist) story? how and or why?
2. is it normal to imagine the death of a spouse?
   

Almost Maine

I'll offer extra credit to students who attend the JCCC production of Almost Maine at noon Friday, 11/20/9. It will be performed in the Polsky Theatre, and is directed by a friend of mine, Beate Pettigrew.

Students wanting extra credit will need to write a short summary (3- 5 sentences long), and a more extensive personal response that compares the work to other popular performances and evaluates the overall experience. From the publicity flyer from the theatre department:

On a cold, clear, moonless night in the middle of winter, all is not quite what it seems in the remote, mythical town of Almost, Maine. As the northern lights hover in the star-filled sky above, Almost's residents find themselves falling in and out of love in unexpected and often hilarious ways. Knees are bruised. Hearts are broken. But the bruises heal, and the hearts mend—almost—in this delightful midwinter night's dream.

Qualifiers of Certainty: what they say

I've noted the use and abuse of qualifiers from our first papers - particularly those I've called "filler" such as: "I think," "I believe," "In my opinion," "I feel," "In my eyes," and "From my perspective." I call these filler because their use is generally out of habit - casual readers might not consciously register them.

Compositions teachers shouldn't be casual readers. The qualifiers above generally signal uncertainty, a lack of confidence, an unwillingness to commit to a thought or statement, or worse (ie that other words from the paper are NOT the writer's thoughts...plagiarism). These words and phrases at best add word count but add little meaning. Use them sparingly if at all.

If a person writes something, shouldn't the reader assume it to be the writer's thoughts?

A lack of confidence may be a personal shortcoming that education is meant to remedy - or it could signal a lack of research, and writers should become experts on the topic of their papers.

These qualifiers show up in the first drafts of many skilled writers - including (and perhaps particularly) myself. Editing and revision takes care of this. So excessive use of qualifiers of uncertainty communicate the lack of proofreading.

Transgender panel at JCCC

Friday, which is international day of rememberance, JCCC will be hosting a transgendered panel in Craig auditorium - on the 2nd floor of GEB. It should start at 3:00 pm.

This will be sponsored by JCCC Queers and Allies - who have a site on google groups with more information.

Sounds like an interesting and well informed panel - who will answer questions. I'll consider offering extra credit to those who attend and write up a page on the experience. Our text has led us to topics of gender - and feminism in particular has traditionally been concerned with diversity and all manner of sexual oppression. It would arguably be relevant.

Responses to the MicroLab assessment

The numbers generated from the Microlab assessment should not be compared to grades. 76 was the high score in my combined comp 1 classes and that's the high score I've seen as a writing center tutor as well. That doesn't mean that person got or would get a C grammar grade.

• this is a writing class -
• grammar isn't graded separately -

The consistent confusion reveals how powerful grades are. No matter what instructors or the Writing Center tells us, we reduce all feedback to a letter grade. If we get a number we quickly convert it. Maybe the assessment shouldn't report % scores to students.

Haven't seen much specific reflection by students. I've given some specific feedback on grammar and mechanics (including: s-v agreement, sentence boundary issues, unclear antecedents (pronouns) and misplaced modifiers, word choice, style, etc.). The microlab gives similarly specific feedback, but I have seen little specific grammar discussion in the reflections so far. It's as though we aren't reading our instructor's comments or looking beyond an arbitrary number on the microlab assessment.

Many in our classes - myself included - have expressed concern that this assessment is not fair for non-native English speaking (NNS) students. 3 of the top 5 scores in our classes came from NNS.

Some note that the school and the teacher needs this assessment information. I'd been thinking it was to the students' benefit and I'd ignored the institutional role. The WC does collect a copy of the sheets tho don't they? And the information is reported to the instructor. The former is likely because student's lose things, and if the WC keeps a copy you won't have to retake the assessment. The latter is because if the info weren't reported to the instructor - no one would do it.

Parting thoughts...

1. Grammar can not be divorced from language and composition.
2. The institution doesn't care about your individual results - or shouldn't.
3. Teachers need to do a better job helping individual students need to learn better how to use the feedback. It's a tool - not a means of validation or personal criticism.

Reponse to late drafts Metaphor Paper

Most of the drafts are really shaping up, but all will need clarification and refinement to be "A" papers. I scratched most of everybody's introductions - so don't take it personal. What's relevant to me is the student's assessment of the language of the magazine article they chose. With few, if any, exceptions my advice has been to more closely establish the link between the papers and the articles they should be examining.

I've seen few good thesis statements yet. Some can be infered from the overall text - but that's more work for me and less educational for students so all theses should appear in the first sentence. They should be statements not questions - at least in my class. Often the answer to the question students identify as a thesis statement is the thesis. Make sure the thesis statement is clear and specific. It should be able to stand alone and make sense. If you read it, and only it, you know the point of the essay. If you have to use a pronoun make sure the antecedent is clear.

Make sure the relationship of all paragraphs to the thesis is clear. The history or general utility of metaphors isn't necessary. If something isn't necessary or relevant to your thesis - omit it.

The thesis statement should mention the article and the theme (or the effect of the figurative language). For example,

In "Giget goes to Spanish Harlem" George Carlin pokes fun at the racist roots of many common idioms.

• We need to photo-copy the source articles and attach them to the next draft, and use passages - with quotes and page #'s
  
• We need to attach the bibliography info (ie works consulted page)
  
• I want to see a new draft with these items briefly in class on Tuesday, 11-10-9 (30 points)
  

At times this week I've been cranky. Various reasons. Don't read too much into my tone in my comments - I want to be honest and direct. Sometimes it could come across blunt or tactless. Hope not.

Your ideas have generally been good, and wonder about the correlation of those who missed early conferences and article choice/deadlines with the papers that looked like first drafts.