Chinese Tiger Mothers

There's been a lot in the news recently about the "Tiger Mother, " Amy Chua, who has written an apology for an Asian Stereotype.

In short, she defends remorseless and aggressive parenting defined by denial of silly things like art (except violin or piano) and social activities, and pressure on preformance in school (primarily in math and science).

I'm familiar with the stereotype she represents with such gusto, but what she's been doing for western audiences has been done much better and more humorously in High Expectations Asian Father blog, where I got the screen grab on Jan 29th, 2011.

Hasn't anyone read, or at least seen, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan? The model has some serious backlash. Relationships between parent and child may benefit from more guidance, discipline and/ or involvement than many (most?) American parents invest - but the bond can be strained and even broken by too much negative reinforcement and withholding of affection.

The Chinese Language newspaper we picked up at Ho's (an Taiwanese market on 95th and I-35) followed a discussion among an ethnic Chinese community - and in the Chinese language (unsimplified). The consensus among those with closer ties to traditional Chinese culture than Hua is not in support of her. They compare her to a traditional story - a children's fairy tale about a tiger who disguiesed herself as a woman to get at some kids by marrying a widower. The story is as gruesome as the original Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel, and a little Red Riding-hood. Key in the telling is the sounds of the tiger crunching the bones of the children. The tiger is always the tiger's 1st priority.

Interestingly this Tuesday marks the end of the year of the tiger. I had been teaching for a couple years in Taiwan the last time we had a year of the tiger. I taught adults in evening classes and noticed that of nearly 500 students per semester I had no pregnant women in class in the year of the tiger. Once the year of the Rabbit got well under way there were about a dozen pregnant women scattered throughout my classes. Tigers are a strong sign, but they aren't much desired. Also, Tigers are not welcome at weddings.



References

• The Wall Street Journal on "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior" - written by the author, Amy Chua.
  
• Slate on why we let the father's role slide from our conversation in "Tiger Mom. Terrible role model"
• And the Huffington Post response by a sociologist and professional parent educator with a PhD in "Why Amy Chua is Wrong About Parenting"